I baby sat Allura yesterday for the first time since she was a newborn.
It actually went pretty good. I was nervous she was going to be one of those bratty kids you babysit and the whole ti me, you're just waiting for their parents to get back. But it wasn't like that at all.

We were sitting at the computer, and she saw one of my pictures on Facebook, pointed to it and she said
"Kassi, pretty, kassi." haha it was so cute. At least she knows who I am!

I was bored when she was watching Spongebob sqaure pants, so I tried to take some pictures of us with my phone, even though they didn't turn out that great.





I like this one cause she's hiding my face. haha... she was trying to grab my phone.

I always say how I don't like kids. But I know deep down that's a lie.
or, maybe Allura is the exception. she's my favorite lil monster.

You be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground, and I'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds.

I finally got my anchor! I am soo excited. It's so weird to actually look down on my leg and see it there, since I've wanted this tattoo since I before I started working at Retribution which was two years ago.

The healing process of tattoos SUCK. Imagine the worst sunburn you've ever had... times a hundred.
It's always burning, peeling, and itching. And it is sooo hard not to pick at it. haha. But the one thing Larry (he is the owner of Retribution, and was my boss.) taught me was how to take care of tattoos.

I consider this my first "Real" tattoo. It's the only one that I have that has some kind of personal meaning to me.It reminds me of stability. And it reminds me to not become my own anchor, and hold myself down - or to let anyone else hold me down.
The one on my shoulder reminds me of my mom, because she picked it out. that was my first tattoo.The one behind my ear reminds me of my friends, because we were all together at Karissa's when I got it done. that was my second tattoo. But that's why I love those two tatoos, they remind me of people that I love. And no matter where I go, or who I become, I'll always have a part of them with me.




Today is Shae's birthday. I've been thinking about her all day since I woke up. And one thing that her death has taught me was to not take my friends or family for granted. And how important it is to tell the ones who matter to you that you love them, because you never know when you might lose them, or when they might lose you.

I think about her a lot, and I still feel her around sometimes. At least, I like to think it's her instead of me just being crazy. I don't know what comes next after this life, but I am finally ready to start living mine. Letting go of people who've hurt me and don't appreciate me, working hard, and trying to be a good friend, daughter, and sister. I'm done wasting my time with the past! And I am looking forward to what the future will bring... no regrets. :)

Halloween 2010.

Tonight was so much fun! And over all in general it was a pretty good day.

I went shooting with my dad and his side of the fam, it was the first time I'd shot a shotgun, so I was horrible at hitting the shells. I have bad aim, I've decided. But it was fun to try something new. And it was good to see the garner side of the family, even though seeing them makes me miss my Grandma more.





I love my family so much, and I am so grateful to have a close relationship with my brother and sisters.

For Halloween I went to a show with Mandy, to Burt Tiki's Lounge in Salt Lake to see my friend Shane's band DieMonsterDie. They're a horror/punk band, and they did soo good!

My ears are still buzzing from their show, Shane is the drummer and I told him I want him to teach me how to play, and I want the singer to teach me how to scream like the punk rocker singers do. Shane invited me to come into the recording studio with them one day, and I am seriously considering it! It was a costume party there, so a lot of people were dressed up including the members of DMD who wore masks. Mandy was a zombie version of Red Ridinghood.And I was Beetlejuice. [Thanks for letting me borrow the costume, Brady! ;] ] For some reason I was really nervous about meeting the band dressed as Beetlejuice, I felt soo weird being dressed up. But as soon as I walked in, they started saying " Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice..." and told me how "badass" the costume was, and I even got two free Long Island Iced Tea's from the singer of DMD. (I love being 21. haha.) So the compliments made me feel less insecure about being dressed up and made me feel more comfortable at the show and not so out of place.





Me and Mandy.


Me, Shane, and Mandy.




DieMonsterDie. Kind of a bad picture, but it was really dark.



The singer of the band, 'zero'. His mask is creepy, and even creepier in person.

Tattoo appointments, and birthdays.

I went shopping with Mandy yesterday, and we went into Frankies Tattoo Parlor to make an appointment for me for my birthday present. I'm getting a little anchor on the back bottom part of my leg to represent stability, which is something that I definately need, and is something that I am trying to bring into my life. I have been wanting it for a long time, so I am very excited, but I'm also a little scared for how bad it will hurt...I'm still not used to the way getting tattooed feels - I'm a baby about it.

We went and picked up Allura, and went to Wal Mart to look for a desk for Mandys boyfriend Garretts office in his house. Allura is really obsessed with clocks for some reason, but she can't say the "L" yet, so when she'd say it, it sounded like she was saying "big cocks" and she kept saying it over and over and all the other people in the isle were looking at us like we were crazy cause of course we were laughing and that made Allura say it even more. We went back to her parents house, and sat outside in her backyard and talked to her parents for a while. It was a fun day with my best friend. :)



Mandy swingin Allura. Allura was laughing so hard while Mandy was doing this, her little laugh is the cutest sound I've ever heard.



Allura giving Mandys friend Chris the silent treatment. He'd say "Hi baby" and she'd scuz him off, turn her head, and close her eyes. it was so funny. she is turning two in December, and she already has so much attitude. I really love this little girl, and I am excited and lucky to get to watch her grow up! :)

Just what's been up... :)

The past couple months have been so crazy, and so much has changed. Sometimes I feel like whenever I find some stable ground something pulls it out from under me.

I have learned so much, so fast. I am trying to correct the mistakes that I've made, to move forward and to have no regrets. I have learned not to take anything or anyone for granted. I don't know what is going to happen next, but I am grateful for my family and friend's support, they are my rocks and my diamonds and despite how crazy life has gotten one good thing about all of it is that I know now who my REAL friends are, and I know that I can turn to any them if I ever need them.



Me and my sister Kylie. My other half, my punching bag, my partner in crime.



The parentals. They keep me strong, I can always lean on my mom and my old man!



Me and my sister Kenzie. She is so strong, kind, and accepting. I look up to her in so many ways, and I am lucky to have her as an older sister.



Me and Brady on Christmas last year. He always likes to give me a rough time about smoking, but he came out with his fake cigarette and pretended to have a cig with me. (the god awful reindeer antlers were his idea.) I love him very much - I can always count on him to laugh at awkward situations with me, to calm me down when I'm in a bad mood, or to say some smartass comment that ends up making my day.



New friends. :) I've known Lissa and Katie since Jr. High, and I love them both... and of course Brad, Lissa's little brother, and Matt are both cuties.



Me getting my first tattoo. I've always been intrigued by tattoos, and I knew I'd end up getting them. I worked at Retribution Tatu as the Shop Manager for about four months before I started working at IRS. I learned a lot about tattoos, met a lot of interesting people, heard a lot of cool stories, and I will always be grateful for the experience of that job!



Me and my best friend Mandy. She has been there for me in so many ways, and I look up to her very much.



Mandy and her daughter Allura. She is the cutest little girl, and she has gotten so big, so fast!! Mandy is an amazing mom.



My little brother's band WeDropLikeBombs playing a show at The Basement. I am so proud of him!!